Friday, 12 December 2008

Ahh you big big scary blog.. I've written you!!

Before I start I must apologise for any gibberish that I may write this week, I've been stuck in bed all week with only Jeremy Kyle and the Loose Women to keep my company. I cannot therefore excuse any foul language, rubbish debates or the odd talking-to-myself moment.

I think I've finally got the idea into my head that this blog isn't going to instantly write itself every week. After my essay of a blog in the first couple of weeks, I let myself get a bit comfortable and thought it'd be okay to forget about for a week or so. 

Fast forward however many weeks and there I was dwelling on the fact that I hadn't written anything in a while but still couldn't get my head round why I still wasn't writing anything. Then we had a pep talk with Mark and Molly last week and Mark spelled it out for me.. I was scared. For this light enjoyable exercise has turned into this big bulging dissertation of work (in my head) and for some reason I have literally run for the hills.

I think I was too busy seeing the blog as a polished bit of work rather than a 'scrapbook of ideas' for the semester to come. I do have my fears and weaknesses within this subject, but as usual have some form of fear towards telling people so, hoping they don't notice. But it may be getting to a time now where I should be speaking about these things, as well as any random stuff that comes in and out of daily life too, community or no community.. anything to get me writing!!

My worries are involved in random parts of the course, I worry initially that i just don't know enough within Drama as I haven't very involved within the practical side of things at university, (although at school I was the total opposite), and therefore I don't want this to have a knock-on effect to what I do at the Mulberry Centre. The worst thing I feel I could do is not do them and the performance justice mainly because of an amateur production. I feel out of touch to put it simply. Any words of advice from anyone would be much appreciated! Even any suggestions as to productions to watch in on etc would be a help.

Speaking of help, I think its about time we all got talking within this blogging community and make it just that. Perhaps just a few comments could make us all a bit more confident to keep on typing.

1 comment:

Mark Griffin said...

Hannah this is a fab entry. You write well and this is hones and questionning - spot on!

I think most people have a healthy chunk of self doubt, especially when it comes to practical work (perhaps because the results are public) but the only way to best it is to get on the horse and have a go. Nobody gets lost or killed, and even if things don't go to plan - you learn for the future(which is kinda the point of Uni) have faith in yourself and enjoy the work. Drama is nothing if we don't have fun doing it.